Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
