no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
