yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
