Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Rumble strips road head = magical
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
