hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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