so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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