But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
