In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
