You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I party with great urgency now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
