Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
