Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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