i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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