just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
