I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
