WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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