return my video game
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
