can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
