yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
