The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize