Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
