I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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