There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
