Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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