...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
