part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
