yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
