i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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