I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
