I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
