dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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