Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
