another moral hangover. fuck.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
