you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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