he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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