Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
