we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
