dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
that's an acceptable place to lick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
