just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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