i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
3pm strippers are depressing
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
