my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
