even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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