Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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