My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
