i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
