I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
