Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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