Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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