Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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