We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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