How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've blown a few things in my day
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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