whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
