It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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