I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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